Can someone please help my husband find me? I seem to be lost.

You see, he took his veggie and fish-loving cutie (I am vain) up to the mountains for a weekend. She must have taken a wrong turn somewhere between snow-shoeing and the spa and crossed paths with a similarly attractive gal who wanted to steal her husband (who wouldn’t?)

How did Ben know the difference? This girl ordered a steak. For real, she went to a steak house, scanned past the Asian salmon option and the tofu napolean, and pointed to the filet mignon.

She even tried to convince Ben that the cheddar-ale dip with homemade potato chips was really, really necessary as an appetizer. Somehow he held his cool and denied her. Weirdo. She settled for a (shared) side of lobster mac ‘n cheese.

Truthfully, if that steak hadn’t been the epitome of buttery medium-rare perfection, perfectly prepped for this occasion with by careful selection and aging technique, if I hadn’t been so in-the-moment with that steak, I too would have felt like an outsider looking in upon some alternate universe. While my short-term memory these days makes me wonder about early onset Alzheimers, I’m damn certain I’ve never ordered a steak. Ben will back it up. He can easily tell you what his mother made for dinner on March 9th, 1987 and how many times he whacked his little brother that day. His memory is at the same time a blessing and a curse.

It’s not that I don’t like steak. In fact I always like to take a bite (or two) off someone else’s plate. It’s that steak isn’t a zillion colors, doesn’t come from the sea, or involve a boatload of ethnic spices. Those are the kinds of restaurant meals I am drawn to. Steak just seems… boring.

But for some reason, it’s what I wanted that night. And I loved every bite of it. And poor Ben is still asking where his wife went.

Honestly, it wasn’t that much of a stretch considering we’ve been incorporating more (organic, grass-fed, lean) beef at home over the past few months. Remember how my acupuncturist told me not to eat dairy, wheat, sugar and caffeine? Well fortunately she also gave me some foods to eat more of and red meat is one of them. It’s supposed to help with some, shall we say, deficiencies I have. I’m not really sure if it’s working, but I’ve broken the mentality of “all ground beef must be subbed with turkey.” Guess what? Good quality beef is pretty darn tasty.

So good that one day while getting my hair done I found myself craving a mushroom cheeseburger.

(Whoa. Who is this girl? I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a mushroom cheeseburger.)

Anyway. It just so happened that I had recently mastered a roll-able gluten-free dough that I was dying to turn into a calzone. (I haven’t had one since college. Again, where am I?) I didn’t wait too long. How could I? The idea had my mouth watering.

The bestest fresh ground beef (I told you, I splurge on the good stuff now), meaty mushrooms and melted cheese inside a doughy pocket – where have you been all my life? I quite like you. I mean, really like you. My mouth is still watering thinking about the last two calzones in the freezer. I don’t think they’ll stick around much longer.

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Mushroom Cheeseburger Calzones (Glute- Free and Dairy-Free)

Yield: 6 servings


3 cups gluten free all-purpose flour, such as Bob's Red Mill, divided
4 tablespoons psyllium husk powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
1 cup water
2 tablespoons olive oil

1/2 cup chopped onion
1 8oz package baby portabello mushrooms, chopped
3 cloves of garlic, minced
12oz 93% lean ground beef
1/2 teaspoon salt
freshly ground pepper
1 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
3oz shredded non-dairy cheese, such as Daiya pepperjack


To prepare the dough:
Combine 2 3/4 cups gluten free all-purpose flour, psyllium husk powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in the bowl of a food processor. Pulse until combined.

In a large glass measuring cup, whisk together the egg, water and olive oil. Pour into the food processor and pulse until a stick dough forms.

Add remaining 1/4 cup flour and pulse a few more times, until the mixture starts to come together into a ball. Gather the dough and divide into 6 equal portions. Press each into a disk about 1/2" thick and wrap in plastic. Refrigerate for about 20 minutes, while preparing the filling.

To make the filling:
In a large nonstick saute pan, cook the onions and mushrooms over medium-low heat for about 5-7 minutes, until softened. Add garlic and beef. Increase heat to medium-high and cook, stirring with a wooden spoon to break up the meat, for about 5 minutes, or until meat is cooked through. Season with salt and pepper and stir in Worcestershire. Turn off heat.

Preheat oven to 375ºF and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Unwrap one round of dough and place on a lightly floured piece of parchment paper. Roll into a circle of about 9" diameter. Place 1/6th of the meat mixture and 1/2 oz of cheese on one side of the circle. Gently fold over the other half, crimping the edges together to seal. Transfer to the prepared baking sheet. Repeat with remaining ingredients.

Bake for 15 minutes, or until dough is lightly browned and firm. Alternatively, freeze the unbaked calzones on a baking sheet, then wrap individually in plastic. Frozen calzones may be baked at 375ºF for 20 minutes.

Nutrition Facts:

Calories 422.6
Total Fat 14.5 g
Saturated Fat 3.4 g
Polyunsaturated Fat 0.6 g
Monounsaturated Fat 3.7 g
Cholesterol 63.3 mg
Sodium 786.5 mg
Potassium 157.6 mg
Total Carbohydrate 56.5 g
Dietary Fiber 11.9 g
Sugars 3.2 g
Protein 20.5 g


This recipe is linked to Slightly Indulgent Tuesdays.